Saturday, January 20, 2007

My NiGHtmaRE!



What a day to celebrate awal Muharram...im suppose to be happy today...but i seriously had a bad, stressful and most pressurizing day of all my life in RP. So whoever asked me to blog...im blogging now and dont regret after reading it..I really need to vent my anger somewhere...so my blog is my choice so my friends wont be the victims lol. But it was really a dreadful day...boOoHoooO!!


RP facis(equivalent to lecturers)...are great people. Since day 1 in RP, i havent really meet an extremely worst teacher. The one time i cried was once during my first year 2nd sem where the 'understanding test' which we called 'UT' by the way...were held in the morning. I was using my old laptop then and just so happen that my favourite culture faci, ganesh, had been substitute with another faci. While he looks those okay type of person...he's not of what i had expected. You see my old laptop was dreadfully slow when it comes to start up. UT time is only 30mins. So obviously i was experiencing some delay with my laptop, he could have just given the paper for me to do yet he die die waited til it completely start up even tho i already told him my laptop is slow. In a way he was sadistic that he knows time is clearly running out...it wasnt until i actually cried because there wasnt much time left that he finally gave me the paper to do. And i only manage to complete half of it due to time shortage. Urgh.


So just when i thought that i might not encounter another bad faci, here came another one. This time...it's a nightmare. This sem comprises of a module called Microcontroller. Engineering ITE students, im sure you heard of that. But this mod is an alien to me. Too alien that i barely understand what is it all about. On the 2nd week after the sem started, we were given this stuff in the lab together with the codes when we barely even know how to read the codes. So it was from there the start of my nightmare and my struggle to understand. It almost come to the end of the sem in 3 weeks time...and my understanding to this mod however? ZERO.


Ok. The mod by itself is already a nightmare. Just like how you wished you could run away from Freddie Kruger in Nightmare of Elm Street...i really wished i could escape this module. But if its not enough, the addition of the faci seem to make it worse. I have to drag myself to school when it comes to this mod. I dont wish to badmouth him whatsoever way...he is a good faci i must say with full of knowledge on microcontroller...strong enthuasiasm....but.....he is too enthusiastic that he expect people to be as enthusiastic as he is. He expect people to understand it as easily as he would. He sub-consciously controlled our breakout time. Because unlike other facis, they were okay with it when we cant completer our labwork..but this faci? he die die want you to try and complete. And since it takes alot of time to experimenting it...he would say like release us for breakout ard 12 and ask us to come back by 1 so we could finish our lab when the original break was from 1130 - 200pm. Thats my pathetic faci...E.T. Yeah...i just realize he got the same initial as ET. And He is just as weird as ET.


We started on C programming last week and just like how i had done vb and java in ITE...i had always been weak at applying those codes. And in one of the RJ, i was honest enough to admit that im not as good and that not even understanding the codes pressurize me in conjunction with the faci expectation of my work and understanding. So if i were to be the faci and has this kind of student, my mission is to put her in a group where she can learnt from those who understood.


But today, he actually grouped me together with the bunch of people who doesnt even know or barely understand the programming at all!! He is so sadistic you know. It was so obvious he knew all of us dont understand yet he put us together. He say we can learn better. Learn better my foot! Have you ever heard of a teacher pairing up a student weak in maths together with another student who is also weak in maths just so these students can do better in maths????? LIKE HELL NO! So what could all the four of us possibly be learning BETTER in his dictionary when none of us barely understand the mod! His brains are too occupied with micro stuffs...it barely had enough space to think a simple logic. Even the simplest daily common sense will be applied thru micro language. HEH! And as if thats not sadistic enough, you see our lab got 5 tables in a form of U. 2 on the left and right while one table at the back. We sat at the back and whenever he goes around the table to check out the students...he skipped our table and you can say he barely help us..1% out of 100? And when my team asked him, he replied in insincerely manner like cant be bothered type. And when we were doing presentation and he asked us questions abt things that had been explained by previous teams and yet we cant answer, he said we werent listening while all the while we were really busy preparing for our turn struggling to compile the presentation because we dunno what to put inside the content since we barely do anything all day due to our lack of understanding. Other teams are of great help but they are busy with their own teams too so we cant like disturb them much right...and while the faci job is meant to guide us...he purposely sit and watch us fall. And the RJ question at the end of the day?? "WHAT LEARNING OBSTACLES DID I FACE TODAY?" fuck right...he jolly well know we struggling and he purposely ask that question. Like as if he wont know.


Sorry for all the complains and whines. Dont read it if you dont wish too. Dont later read and give another dreadful remarks out of disagreement cos i had enough today so i dont wish to listen to ur bad remarks except for words of comfort. Honestly, we all felt so helpless at that point...dunno how to do...people too busy to help..teacher is there but just stand/sit and watch...and then dunno what to explain in powerpoint somemore...plus a UT on micro after the lesson...it was really really utterly totally a dreadful day of all my days in RP. Such a nightmare. Module a nightmare. Faci is a nightmare. And my team is also a nightmare. I was so stress out cos i dunno who else to ask for help that i felt like crying. But i guess i felt pissed even more that is why i cant cry...all i wanted was to shout my lungs out..or throw something or smashed something. Haiz...i finally let out everything...im cool now. But im worried cos we have 3 more weeks for his lesson and that if he doesnt change my team...im gonna suffer again and i guess this time, i will really end up crying.


To all muslims...Happy New Year! Selamat menyambut tahun baru...1428H...one year gone another came. We are getting older and older as well...hopefully something great will come along the way(i've kept saying this over and over again every year yet nothing great ever happen...lol..) and i'll pray we'd be a better person as each daypass every year.

Posted by =Im-tOxI-kaTe-d= at 1/20/2007 02:58:00 AM