Wednesday, September 26, 2007

what's this?
my sickness barely recover and here i am getting the nerve-pricking moments again...
since 1st sept..and coming this weekend would officially make it into a month i had been sick!!
why hasn't the virus in my body go away despite the medicines?!!
is it cause im too stress?
is it cause of too much worries?
Maybe.

Yes. Inside my head...there's like alot of things im thinking abt.
FYP..PP..CE..Modules and Other personal worries...
What could be worst??
Being alone stranded on the 4th floor when my friends are all up there... i really felt distance ok.
If that isnt enuff to make me feel lonely, my elective module sucks!
Sorry Di...i shouldnt had make you listen to me.
I should have listen to you instead. I felt bad.
Not only does our elective module is a dry, boring subject..
clinical trials just like law...with section 10..blah blah blah...section 20..yadi..yadi..yada...
The class itself is erm...boring.
No actually they are fun bunch..but i find it boring because they knew each other except ME.
Of course..they are SAS student while im the only SEG atudent..
and THAT..makes things even MORE AWKWARD ok!
I had chuan. I had Ben(1st yr 2nd sem classmate).
But how much can they do??
or how close am i to them to the extend that they can make me feel not outcast?? huh?
I came in w/o knowing almost all of them...almost seem uninvited..
When class ends, i made my way out quietly..
Like my presence isnt felt..or like i barely in existence...
It feels so...errr...strange?
Now it feels like i have to drag myself to w5 every tues..like it or not..
Urghh..those feelings!

Another is FYP..my head gonna burst thinking about this! REALLY!
Seriously, i felt confined and as if treated as prisoner. No..i meant we.
First of all, sch re-open with a change in our supervisor.
Then i tot some others had a change too but apparently its like ONLY us.
Our old supervisor as if gave up on us..and if thats not enuff..
giving our new supervisor bad impression of us..by telling stuffs that isnt even true!
I mean misjudgement.
Like she doesnt even hell know whats happening behind the scene...SHE'S RARELY THERE!
and there she was like babbling things that she TOT she see...which ISNT the case!
Second, she made us clock in how many hours we come for FYP.
Third, she made us send individual contributions for the FYP...when it isnt the case last sem.
C'mon, at the end of the day..we know we have to get our things done..
But whats with the timing?? Aren't you like controlling us a bit too much now??
I never seen an FYP filled with many restrictions..MY GOODNESS!
Its bad enuff to spend wed..a non-sch day for fyp..and you making us clock hours now?
So what? we have overtime pay and punch card now? HAH!

Then, having to collaborate with another team is just as bad.
While ours is the ECG(receiver), theirs is ECG(transmitter)..
shouldnt we be sharing stuffs? like infos and such??
why can't we help each other? Those who know help those who don't?
Im pretty sure things will turn out better! Try it Mitch!
I SERIOUSLY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE JUST LOVEEEEEE TO BE SELFISH!!!
AND I HATE SELFISH PEOPLE!!
The leader from the other team is really like TOOT...
i wonder what she told their supervisor that made OUR supervisor imply sarcasm on us.
damn it. damn you people. damn to whoever who misjudge me..and US.
Here i am really trying my best to absorb as much as i can...
the worries that you don't even know playing in my head...
(maybe tts why things i learnt can hardly absorb..haha..too much filled with worries! lol!)
and you dare to misjudge me??
IM UPSET!
All this really making me feel like im going to get a nervous breakdown soon!! URGHH!!
People...stop making me feel upset can??
Ya Allah..kurniakanlah aku kegembiraan...

Sorry for being too emo...
i just need to vent it somewhere...
lucky part is its the fasting month...
having to go thru this difficult period...
I really praying hard He would save us..
who else can i ask for help if not Him?
Please dont turn away my prayers...



*Ya Allah..berilah pertolongan ke atas FYP kami..
Tolonglah kami buktikan bahawa tanggapan guru2 kami itu salah..
Kurniakanlah kami kepandaian ilmu dalam C programming..
Terangkanlah hati kami..Bukalah minda kami
Berikanlah kami cahaya di lorong yang gelap ini..
Berikanlah kami kekuatan untuk melalui saat-saat yang sukar..
Sesungguhnya Engkau Tuhan Yang Maha Pengasih, Maha Penyayang dan Maha Penolong...
Ya Allah, Ya Tuhanku, Ya Rabbi, Ya Hayyu, Ya Qayyum, Ya Rahman, Ya Rahim...
Bukankah Engkau suka pada hamba yang mengadu nasib kepadaMu?
Dan bukankah Engkau Tuhan yang tidak pernah menghampakan hamba-hambanya tatkala mereka dalam kesusahan?
Maka kurniakanlah ketenangan pada jiwa kami sebagai petanda bahawa pertolonganMu teramatlah dekat Ya Allah..
Kepada Engkau kami berserah...ku pohon agar janganlah Engkau kecewakan hati kami..
Amin Ya Rabbal-Al-amin...*

Posted by =Im-tOxI-kaTe-d= at 9/26/2007 11:57:00 PM