Sunday, February 08, 2009

okay you know what? i have decided to let it go. I was really having withdrawal symptoms when they didnt call back..feeling so dejected and whateva okay. Because as far as i remember i never fail any interviews i went in the past years. This is the first time. Yes. So, fine, if its meant for me it is meant for me. Just redha je lah eh. The only thing i wanted it badly is because i just wanted to work. Frankly speaking, after the 2nd interview, the principal ask if i can work weekends and i said i could. The she added, "later you cant say you cant work on weekends because you have to meet your friends ah" and smiled. Of course I said okay. But back home, all the negative thoughts started haunting me. I was staring at the ceiling, thinking if i were to get this job, it means, i would have to sacrifice my weekends all my life working there, thats one. Two, a couple friends getting married this june means i cant go for her wedding where i bet all my ite friends will meet up and gather, well at least most of them - and i will miss the gathering. Third, Already rarely meeting the jamekanz, the next time they plan to meet up, i wouldnt be able to spend time with them either cos while they are not working on weekends, I am. So because of all the haunting thoughts, i told myself, even if i didnt get this job, i dont mind. You know there's an old malay saying, jgn berkata dalam hati nanti betul betul terjadi - which i obviously believe because it happen so many times before. I dunno how to put it in english but simply, that if your heart dont feel like it, it eventually become a reality. Writing this thoughts make me feel even better thinking how they didnt even call back. But i think, its because of my worries that prolly gave way. God knows best you see. The only thing that pissed me off was, yesterday while i was at my bro house for my nephews birthday party, i read the recruit and this company appeared in the ads saying they are in need of instructors. And f*** them because they have one that really wanna work with them here and they dont even gve her a chance and also my friend a chance. So yeah go to hell i gonna move on applying more jobs right now. And yes you can tell im pissed off here recalling of that recruit ads.

And because of those worries haunting me when they are calling me back, i wasnt really able to enjoy my day at my bro house. It was Iqbal(5th) and Ilyas(1) year birthday. Happy birthday to them and hope they will be a good children and blessed with health and wealth amin. I wish i can get a job soon so i can buy them a belated birthday presents...hehe.

1st bro 2nd child. 1st nephew. Eldest Nephew.
And the nephew who always said the darndest thing:
Happy Birthday Iqbal Farihin!!